I'm quoting, instead of reflecting...
"There are two kinds of stress: acute and chronic. An acute stressor is one that happens suddenly and is over with quickly. You experience an acute stress response when you are in sudden danger. When stress is chronic, the stress keeps coming instead of being resolved. A chronic stressor is a problem that doesn't change much over the short term, like not making enough money to support yourself and your family."
"Cortisol is the hormone most closely associated with stress. Normally, as soon as the amount of cortisol in your body gets to a certain level, another system kicks in to shut down the stress response. However, the shutdown system doesn't always work properly. It could be that you have inherited a shutdown system that takes longer to engage. You may always have been the kind of person who takes a long time to get over being upset. If the shutdown system doesn't work properly, our bodies keep releasing cortisol. After a few days of having a lot of cortisol in our system, we begin to feel tired, helpless, and depressed." Whiffen in a secret sadness
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Laura
I have not met an inspiring teacher for the longest time. Yesterday, the English Language Teacher, Miss Laura spoke to a few of us and two things she said gave me new perspectives.
“God is very fair; He gives me two of everything: I am hearing-impaired on one side but I still have the OTHER ear. One of my kidneys failed me but I still have ONE other.”
“When parents of special needs kids tell me that they are tired (looking after their child), I ask them to think who should be more tired: the parent looking after that child or the child who is grappling with living in this world with the handicap?”
I feel that the world would be a happier place if we have more Lauras, jeanne anne hsi
Her name has been changed to protect her identity.
“God is very fair; He gives me two of everything: I am hearing-impaired on one side but I still have the OTHER ear. One of my kidneys failed me but I still have ONE other.”
“When parents of special needs kids tell me that they are tired (looking after their child), I ask them to think who should be more tired: the parent looking after that child or the child who is grappling with living in this world with the handicap?”
I feel that the world would be a happier place if we have more Lauras, jeanne anne hsi
Her name has been changed to protect her identity.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
A Perfect Day
At the end of that Friday, I felt physically exhausted but not mentally. I was refreshed, renewed and inspired by these two catechists (teachers of catechism, Christian-catholic instructions) whom I’ve met barely two to three months ago.
In the morning, I went for a walk with a friend at Mac-Ritchie Reservoir. We walked by the banks of the reservoir and took the path of the inside up-and-down hills coming back. We barely spoke a word while doing our power walk but this was what I liked – silence is to be enjoyed, not dreaded and feared or a bore.
I remember two girl-friends during the walk. And this is what I like best – the good memories we have with people we love: one, my best friend who lives in the states. We used to run 10km weekly along East Coast. Again, we barely felt the need to fill every silence with words –we were there for the work-out and we just enjoyed one another’s presence, laughter and having a jogging partner of the same physique.
Another girl friend lives in HK and I know she’s quite an outdoors person. We will enjoy pushing the kids on the stroller along the platforms by the river bank.
After the walk, I met a contractor who was punctual. My lowering of my expectations with contractors taught me that this is not a number one priority on their list. I was enchanted by his knowledge, politeness and sales talk. I even forgave his cigarette breath; it comes with the occupation, I tell myself.
In the late afternoon - this is after picking up two kids at separate time home from school - I went to church to “set up the atrium”. This is my second mop for the day, the first was at home. We usually spend a minimum of two hours cleaning and setting up the atrium for the children’s catechism environment. There were lots to clean up – the floor, the paints and chasing off of house lizards. Preparing how we present the materials to the children. One catechist pointed out that it was no longer appropriate to define “virgin” (as in Virgin Mary) as an unmarried woman ‘cos there are many single mums these days. We had a lot of fun coming up with a new way of explaining. But seriously speaking, we were learning the Gospel in today’s context. I cannot use a single word to describe my whole experience with these two ladies: they have families, with children and here they are, extending themselves to the larger community of the church. What sacrifice, what love. How inspiring! (Compare this with people who “think mostly of their own demise all the time”)
When was the last time you had a great day? -Or you’ve never had one because of the way you see things? jeanne anne hsi
In the morning, I went for a walk with a friend at Mac-Ritchie Reservoir. We walked by the banks of the reservoir and took the path of the inside up-and-down hills coming back. We barely spoke a word while doing our power walk but this was what I liked – silence is to be enjoyed, not dreaded and feared or a bore.
I remember two girl-friends during the walk. And this is what I like best – the good memories we have with people we love: one, my best friend who lives in the states. We used to run 10km weekly along East Coast. Again, we barely felt the need to fill every silence with words –we were there for the work-out and we just enjoyed one another’s presence, laughter and having a jogging partner of the same physique.
Another girl friend lives in HK and I know she’s quite an outdoors person. We will enjoy pushing the kids on the stroller along the platforms by the river bank.
After the walk, I met a contractor who was punctual. My lowering of my expectations with contractors taught me that this is not a number one priority on their list. I was enchanted by his knowledge, politeness and sales talk. I even forgave his cigarette breath; it comes with the occupation, I tell myself.
In the late afternoon - this is after picking up two kids at separate time home from school - I went to church to “set up the atrium”. This is my second mop for the day, the first was at home. We usually spend a minimum of two hours cleaning and setting up the atrium for the children’s catechism environment. There were lots to clean up – the floor, the paints and chasing off of house lizards. Preparing how we present the materials to the children. One catechist pointed out that it was no longer appropriate to define “virgin” (as in Virgin Mary) as an unmarried woman ‘cos there are many single mums these days. We had a lot of fun coming up with a new way of explaining. But seriously speaking, we were learning the Gospel in today’s context. I cannot use a single word to describe my whole experience with these two ladies: they have families, with children and here they are, extending themselves to the larger community of the church. What sacrifice, what love. How inspiring! (Compare this with people who “think mostly of their own demise all the time”)
When was the last time you had a great day? -Or you’ve never had one because of the way you see things? jeanne anne hsi
Monday, March 2, 2009
A lesson on kindness
We are writing to thank you, Mrs Noriko Shibuya, and to share with your family your generosity. In our hearts, you are our heroine and life-saver!
In early January, we had a car accident while attempting to drive up Snow City. (see attached ‘Reflection’.)
Mrs Noriko helped us call the police. All the travel guidebooks we’ve read said it is not in your culture to invite foreigners into your homes. We feel we imposed on Mrs Noriko that day and she went beyond her comfort zone, presumably, and offered us and our two young children (four and one years of age) her warm home. I dare not imagine how we would have survived the bitter cold without her help.
She offered us food: served us her finest titbits, toast and warmed the milk for us! We are forever grateful for her generosity; her time and kindness, an act which we are indebted and cannot repay.
Connecting at a heart level
We even sang a Japanese folk song in our respective languages together (We sang in Chinese, Mrs Noriko sang the song in Japanese) :) !
Hopefully, we can “pay it forward” to another person in need; or if we have the fortune of having you or your family come visit Singapore we would love to be your guide around the city.
We are not sure if this letter will reach you as Zoe had over-written Mrs Noriko’s words with a thick marker.
Take care, ThankYOU once again and God Bless!
In early January, we had a car accident while attempting to drive up Snow City. (see attached ‘Reflection’.)
Mrs Noriko helped us call the police. All the travel guidebooks we’ve read said it is not in your culture to invite foreigners into your homes. We feel we imposed on Mrs Noriko that day and she went beyond her comfort zone, presumably, and offered us and our two young children (four and one years of age) her warm home. I dare not imagine how we would have survived the bitter cold without her help.
She offered us food: served us her finest titbits, toast and warmed the milk for us! We are forever grateful for her generosity; her time and kindness, an act which we are indebted and cannot repay.
Connecting at a heart level
We even sang a Japanese folk song in our respective languages together (We sang in Chinese, Mrs Noriko sang the song in Japanese) :) !
Hopefully, we can “pay it forward” to another person in need; or if we have the fortune of having you or your family come visit Singapore we would love to be your guide around the city.
We are not sure if this letter will reach you as Zoe had over-written Mrs Noriko’s words with a thick marker.
Take care, ThankYOU once again and God Bless!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Live To Tell: My brush with almost losing the kids.
My unabridged story. If you ask them, the guy and the girl had totally different perspectives.
It was a pretty long drive from Tokyu Hotel in Nagoya to Snow World, Nagano Prefecture. It would take about an hour or so, as dictated by the GPS, registering a little more than a hundred and fifty kilometres. We were travelling really fast, burning holes in our pockets with paying thousands of yens in toll fees, hoping to get there quickly to taste the highlight of this holiday trip: skiing in the snow. In our minds, our four-year old would be having fun sitting on tyres sliding down gentle slopes.
After driving through the longest tunnel –possibly 8km- it wasn’t snowing where we entered and snowing where we exited, we were beginning to understand why the GPS showed that we still had a good twenty to thirty minutes to get to our destination. We were down to ten kilometres. We were at the foot of the mountain. Beautiful snow. Almost there.
The roads were winding.
Naïve and totally unaware of the dangers ahead of us, we continued driving slowly into the snowy roads. We thought driving slowly meant that we are driving carefully and safely. We had no notion of the tools used in this part of the world: snow tyres or chained tyres, necessary for the course.
Our eyes were glued on the GPS, which we now swear by as it had gotten us quickly and reliably into (two) cities, even though we do not read Japanese. In short, we were still “Right On Track!”
We came to this narrow steep slope. Something probed my mind: how could two cars in opposing directions share that narrow roadway?
Anyway, there was Only ONE way to go on the GPS (to be honest, it was because we didn’t check!): and it was UP.
Still going.
Turning.
Driving.
Slowly.
Easy.
Navigating.
Barely a few slopes and making a few turns, we came to this part before a right turn where the wheels JUST WOULDN’T bring us forward (ie, it was too icy and slippery… imagine you had to put more force to prevent slipping).
Frightened.
We stopped.
Stuck in the ice –we don’t even know if we were “stuck”; but the car was not going forward on this icy slope and we were in the middle of nowhere without a soul in a foreign land with two young children.
We tried again.
HP stepped on the accelerator so hard that if that got us the momentum to go forward, we would have gained enough speed to fly straight ahead, off the cliff [he told me on retrospect that that wouldn't happen because he had the steering wheel steered in the right direction, so instead of flying forward, if anything, the car would have had a bad knock against the mountain side.... i have my reservations on this; what IF that collision throws us off the cliff?].
We were terrified!
Both of us got off the car, leaving the two front doors opened.
I implored and pleaded with him not to proceed, that is, if we could get out of the stuck-in-the-ice situation... i felt a premonition about the precarious situation we were in and i wanted to do what i normally do in such situations: Abandon the project, seek help and get out.
But he would not have it. He, being the cleverer man, the better driver, the scientific and rational one said: "Tell me what we should do! The ONLY way is UP." (There was no space to do a reverse). And YES, it does look more dangerous slowly reversing the car 'cos it does seem we would slide.
I calmed down when he said, "Let's get the kids out first, then we’ll decide what to do."
I was on the passenger's side, with the door still opened.
He walked to the driver's side.
The gear was on Parked mode.
The handbrakes were on.
The moment he switched off the engine (wouldn't that be the safest thing anyone would have done in that situation?), the car began to slide. i was pushed by my side of the door and i started sliding, without the strength to push the car. I could see that HP was trying with all his might to push the car on his side (he said afterward that he was trying to restart the engine - which he didn't managed to).
The kids were still in the car!
Those few seconds of desperation went: slid, slid, slid. i felt as if i was in a tsunami, having no control, completely swept by its force. The difference was that the impact was swift. i was pushed down the cliff and dropped a few metres. i was blocked from falling further down the cliff by the numerous trees in that spot.
HP called out in a weak voice, "Jeanne, are you there?"
i reached out and held the trees and climbed up.
From where i stood, part of the car was out in open space (this is where HP had his version –that only a teen weeny bit of the car was sticking out in the open- we held on to our versions, possibly because our viewpoints were different from where he and i stood). We were blessed that the events took place this way. And i kept saying Thank God for those trees in the precise location!
Lesson Learnt:
Not to be overly reliant on GPS (on paper it looks simple but the actual road conditions can be very different) AND Mapquest.com (an internet address search. Once, we were going to Yosemite Valley and I did not verify that it was the ONLY address… Apparently, there was another place with the same name. I was lucky my friend gave me a physical map to bring along and that saved us from being too lost, when we realised that we wasn’t quite heading for the right place).
To be Cont'd
Part II: Getting out; Our Heroes and Heroines
It was a pretty long drive from Tokyu Hotel in Nagoya to Snow World, Nagano Prefecture. It would take about an hour or so, as dictated by the GPS, registering a little more than a hundred and fifty kilometres. We were travelling really fast, burning holes in our pockets with paying thousands of yens in toll fees, hoping to get there quickly to taste the highlight of this holiday trip: skiing in the snow. In our minds, our four-year old would be having fun sitting on tyres sliding down gentle slopes.
After driving through the longest tunnel –possibly 8km- it wasn’t snowing where we entered and snowing where we exited, we were beginning to understand why the GPS showed that we still had a good twenty to thirty minutes to get to our destination. We were down to ten kilometres. We were at the foot of the mountain. Beautiful snow. Almost there.
The roads were winding.
Naïve and totally unaware of the dangers ahead of us, we continued driving slowly into the snowy roads. We thought driving slowly meant that we are driving carefully and safely. We had no notion of the tools used in this part of the world: snow tyres or chained tyres, necessary for the course.
Our eyes were glued on the GPS, which we now swear by as it had gotten us quickly and reliably into (two) cities, even though we do not read Japanese. In short, we were still “Right On Track!”
We came to this narrow steep slope. Something probed my mind: how could two cars in opposing directions share that narrow roadway?
Anyway, there was Only ONE way to go on the GPS (to be honest, it was because we didn’t check!): and it was UP.
Still going.
Turning.
Driving.
Slowly.
Easy.
Navigating.
Barely a few slopes and making a few turns, we came to this part before a right turn where the wheels JUST WOULDN’T bring us forward (ie, it was too icy and slippery… imagine you had to put more force to prevent slipping).
Frightened.
We stopped.
Stuck in the ice –we don’t even know if we were “stuck”; but the car was not going forward on this icy slope and we were in the middle of nowhere without a soul in a foreign land with two young children.
We tried again.
HP stepped on the accelerator so hard that if that got us the momentum to go forward, we would have gained enough speed to fly straight ahead, off the cliff [he told me on retrospect that that wouldn't happen because he had the steering wheel steered in the right direction, so instead of flying forward, if anything, the car would have had a bad knock against the mountain side.... i have my reservations on this; what IF that collision throws us off the cliff?].
We were terrified!
Both of us got off the car, leaving the two front doors opened.
I implored and pleaded with him not to proceed, that is, if we could get out of the stuck-in-the-ice situation... i felt a premonition about the precarious situation we were in and i wanted to do what i normally do in such situations: Abandon the project, seek help and get out.
But he would not have it. He, being the cleverer man, the better driver, the scientific and rational one said: "Tell me what we should do! The ONLY way is UP." (There was no space to do a reverse). And YES, it does look more dangerous slowly reversing the car 'cos it does seem we would slide.
I calmed down when he said, "Let's get the kids out first, then we’ll decide what to do."
I was on the passenger's side, with the door still opened.
He walked to the driver's side.
The gear was on Parked mode.
The handbrakes were on.
The moment he switched off the engine (wouldn't that be the safest thing anyone would have done in that situation?), the car began to slide. i was pushed by my side of the door and i started sliding, without the strength to push the car. I could see that HP was trying with all his might to push the car on his side (he said afterward that he was trying to restart the engine - which he didn't managed to).
The kids were still in the car!
Those few seconds of desperation went: slid, slid, slid. i felt as if i was in a tsunami, having no control, completely swept by its force. The difference was that the impact was swift. i was pushed down the cliff and dropped a few metres. i was blocked from falling further down the cliff by the numerous trees in that spot.
HP called out in a weak voice, "Jeanne, are you there?"
i reached out and held the trees and climbed up.
From where i stood, part of the car was out in open space (this is where HP had his version –that only a teen weeny bit of the car was sticking out in the open- we held on to our versions, possibly because our viewpoints were different from where he and i stood). We were blessed that the events took place this way. And i kept saying Thank God for those trees in the precise location!
Lesson Learnt:
Not to be overly reliant on GPS (on paper it looks simple but the actual road conditions can be very different) AND Mapquest.com (an internet address search. Once, we were going to Yosemite Valley and I did not verify that it was the ONLY address… Apparently, there was another place with the same name. I was lucky my friend gave me a physical map to bring along and that saved us from being too lost, when we realised that we wasn’t quite heading for the right place).
To be Cont'd
Part II: Getting out; Our Heroes and Heroines
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