My dear friends, I always tell my girls: There is one type of handicapped that when you meet them, you should drop all things to assist them. And that is the blind. Imagine a world of darkness.
Once on the bus, I saw this young chap listening to his mobile phone intently. I dare not disturb him but observed as I thought there might be some application running on his mobile phone that tells him when to alight (yeah, please laugh at me, to think I used to work for HP…). Later, I learnt that that was his source of entertainment so he’ll listen to it ALL THE TIME!
When we go to church at certain times, I’ll keep a lookout for Andrew who sits right in front. I remembered that once I was so tired I told my husband: Alamak, he’s here. He can’t see me but I can see him!
Andrew is more extroverted than I so I always end up hearing more. When I first met him, he would tell me about a certain rose who’s in the choir. Recently, when I caught a glimpse of this beautiful rose (I had imagined her to be beautiful since he always talk about her so kindly!), she said, “So Andrew you are now baptized and you are now part of the community!” – and with that, she left him with me!
I really admire Andrew for going places. He tells me he’s going to Chingay soon. Chingay! I thought people go to Chingay to see the floats… here’s one who’s going to hear, feel and experience the party! He described to me the colors of the floats. Can you beat that?
I have never heard Andrew once complained about life. Which puts me to shame – I complain so much about how tough things are and manipulate those around me so I seem like the one who’s handling the tougher deal. When you need perspective, I recommend you meet A.
So, parishioners of my church, Do Not be Afraid when you see Andrew: he will not ask for a ride, he will not ask for money. All he asks of you is to walk him to the bus-stop. And he walks fast too! jeanne anne hsi
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Monday, July 18, 2011
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Dearest Adnil, You asked me what it was about “Think Yourself Happy - The Simple 6-step programme to change your life from within” by Dr Rick Norris that I said helped me break out of my depression (not discounting that I have been depressed for a long time and it helps that I AM determined to break out of it). I didn’t do the book justice by being tongue-tied: for I can’t give witty replies quickly hence I can never be a politician –very often, I have to think it thru’ and thru’ and GET IT when the fire’s over.
One of the most important points I fail to mention is that the book says that different people, by virtue of the traits they inherit, get stressed by different things. For an example, some people get totally stressed with relationship breakups but find other things in life easier to cope. Some daddies get stressed by their kids’ antics but cope well with work. I suddenly understand that I find (some aspects of) parenting the most stressful thing I have to deal with in my forty years of life (or perhaps I have forgotten the past stresses that I have dealt with, haha!).
It doesn’t help that deep down inside me, I feel that a good mother should be able to cook and put her children to bed early, both which I have no talent in. I have lots of ideals about how good mothers should behave –like being patient and gentle with their children ALL THE TIME. Of course I fail 99%. Ya ya, I know I have to let go of my ideals!
Another thing that helped me is recognising that I feel good about completing small projects (hierarchy of needs on self-actualisation). For now, I cannot handle big projects (translate to): I’ll lose my confidence and it’ll become another pile (plus spiral effect of feeling lousy with myself). So, for the catechism classes, I have insisted on sticking to small projects like making prayer cards/ song sheets. Now I feel so much better.
For a while, I was trying to translate songs to Mandarin on my own. I did that poorly, I was banging my head against the wall and not moving. The community has since pointed to me a couple of Chinese choir folks. I also get my MIL’s –Mother-In-Law- help. Perhaps in the process my MIL gets to experience God? (But no, this is not in my agenda. What’s in my agenda is that she leaves a legacy for us. I truly believe that faith is God’s grace.)
I’ve changed your name as I’m sharing this letter with others. ThankYOU for journeying with me this life, as always! Love, jeanne
One of the most important points I fail to mention is that the book says that different people, by virtue of the traits they inherit, get stressed by different things. For an example, some people get totally stressed with relationship breakups but find other things in life easier to cope. Some daddies get stressed by their kids’ antics but cope well with work. I suddenly understand that I find (some aspects of) parenting the most stressful thing I have to deal with in my forty years of life (or perhaps I have forgotten the past stresses that I have dealt with, haha!).
It doesn’t help that deep down inside me, I feel that a good mother should be able to cook and put her children to bed early, both which I have no talent in. I have lots of ideals about how good mothers should behave –like being patient and gentle with their children ALL THE TIME. Of course I fail 99%. Ya ya, I know I have to let go of my ideals!
Another thing that helped me is recognising that I feel good about completing small projects (hierarchy of needs on self-actualisation). For now, I cannot handle big projects (translate to): I’ll lose my confidence and it’ll become another pile (plus spiral effect of feeling lousy with myself). So, for the catechism classes, I have insisted on sticking to small projects like making prayer cards/ song sheets. Now I feel so much better.
For a while, I was trying to translate songs to Mandarin on my own. I did that poorly, I was banging my head against the wall and not moving. The community has since pointed to me a couple of Chinese choir folks. I also get my MIL’s –Mother-In-Law- help. Perhaps in the process my MIL gets to experience God? (But no, this is not in my agenda. What’s in my agenda is that she leaves a legacy for us. I truly believe that faith is God’s grace.)
I’ve changed your name as I’m sharing this letter with others. ThankYOU for journeying with me this life, as always! Love, jeanne
Thursday, March 31, 2011
The beauty of Muslim and Buddhism worship
Recently, my three-year-old went with her school on a field trip to a mosque. I learnt that a mosque is kept simple, with space drawn on the carpet for each individual to worship and the “lack of” furniture and things are intentional –so that the worshippers concentrate on saying their prayers and not get distracted with the materials. I think this is a wonderful and beautiful idea.
I remember on one of our inter-religious visit to a Buddhist temple that each visitor had to put on a black robe –this is for uniformity… Again, so that we do not distract each other with our fancy clothes.
I find these two practises enable worshippers to pray reverently. Perhaps it is not a bad idea to impose certain rules in our Christian churches, provided it is done in a loving manner. jeanne anne hsi
I remember on one of our inter-religious visit to a Buddhist temple that each visitor had to put on a black robe –this is for uniformity… Again, so that we do not distract each other with our fancy clothes.
I find these two practises enable worshippers to pray reverently. Perhaps it is not a bad idea to impose certain rules in our Christian churches, provided it is done in a loving manner. jeanne anne hsi
Saturday, January 15, 2011
A balanced-life? Not in this lifetime!
I have not met any person who leads a well-balanced life: that is, in all aspects of life from lifestyle to beliefs. Well, sometimes we try. Often however, we are either too something.
Too religious, too anti-religion.
Too much of an exercise-freak, too “boh-chap” about one’s health.
Too sacrificial, too self-centred.
Spending too much time dolling up, too lacklustre about one’s appearance.
Too workaholic, too “eat-snake” about work.
We overspend, we collect too much junk.
Too independent, not working with people at all.
Too rigid, no backbone.
We worry too much, we don’t care.
Too judgemental, no opinions at all.
Too passionate about a cause or too shui2bian4 (lukewarm) about all things in life.
Is it so hard to be all-rounded in life? Can we say our prayers daily and still have time for social? Or could it be like a food guide pyramid, where the nutritionist says to look at the intake value over a 2-week period instead of over a 24-hour cycle? If that is the case, what would the length of a period be? Or should we categorise the frequency by nature of the activity?
If you disagree and will like to nominate a well-balanced person, please send a description of your nominee to well-balanced-life-person@nominate.com , jeanne anne hsi
Part II
My charming better half’s comment is that I didn’t define what a balanced-life is. But that’s the thing. HP and i agreed - as in every other things in life - that everyone defines it differently. I only wrote the reflection because I felt so overwhelmed, trying to cram everything in a day. How can I sleep 8 hours (ie, recommended) and still do so many things? So I try, I get interrupted short hours of rest and it’s another day. I have not finished doing everything and now it’s TIME TO GET READY TO SLEEP. Good day! Love, jeanne
Too religious, too anti-religion.
Too much of an exercise-freak, too “boh-chap” about one’s health.
Too sacrificial, too self-centred.
Spending too much time dolling up, too lacklustre about one’s appearance.
Too workaholic, too “eat-snake” about work.
We overspend, we collect too much junk.
Too independent, not working with people at all.
Too rigid, no backbone.
We worry too much, we don’t care.
Too judgemental, no opinions at all.
Too passionate about a cause or too shui2bian4 (lukewarm) about all things in life.
Is it so hard to be all-rounded in life? Can we say our prayers daily and still have time for social? Or could it be like a food guide pyramid, where the nutritionist says to look at the intake value over a 2-week period instead of over a 24-hour cycle? If that is the case, what would the length of a period be? Or should we categorise the frequency by nature of the activity?
If you disagree and will like to nominate a well-balanced person, please send a description of your nominee to well-balanced-life-person@nominate.com , jeanne anne hsi
Part II
My charming better half’s comment is that I didn’t define what a balanced-life is. But that’s the thing. HP and i agreed - as in every other things in life - that everyone defines it differently. I only wrote the reflection because I felt so overwhelmed, trying to cram everything in a day. How can I sleep 8 hours (ie, recommended) and still do so many things? So I try, I get interrupted short hours of rest and it’s another day. I have not finished doing everything and now it’s TIME TO GET READY TO SLEEP. Good day! Love, jeanne
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The reluctant catechist
At my first job, I was surprised to hear of two male senior engineers teach catechism on Sundays. I thought it noble of them and that I would never ever, ever do something like that; it was just not my cup of tea to face little children with church teachings.
A few years ago, after we had our first child, my friend L-K shared with me very young children’s needs: Orderliness and repetition. She told me about The Atrium (CGS’ classroom) and Catechisis of the Good Shepherd: A Montessori-styled Catholic catechism for children from 3-12 years. Again I said “No, thank you” even though it sounded the ideal education, ‘cos I thought it was just too much work (well, this part is true! And I cope now by the “Divide and conquer” rule).
After a few years of child rearing, I could not get back to doing the things that I love doing, because of its risks and unsuitability. For self-centred reasons, I joined the noble ranks of teaching catechism to the little ones whom I thought was beneath me and realised how much I learnt from them instead. They respond to their inner joy and showed me how fully present they were whenever they come for classes. I learnt much, especially how the world has progressed (Eg. how do we explain the word “virgin” to a child in this century?)
I now feel very privileged and grateful to be part of this CGS community; many (“mainstreamed”) catechists teach the syllabus on their own, source for materials on their own, get their own spiritual inputs but for the CGS community, we readily have a group of people who work together with the same intent: to provide the children an environment where they may experience and know God on their own.
I am particularly edified by Marilyn (pseudonym), whose children are not in the catechism classes she teaches. She does it, responding to her mission, that spiritual seeds are sown in the very young. Because of her vision and great love, many many children benefit from this one selfless woman’s work. It is mind-boggling perhaps but like what I read in The Little Prince, that at least she’s someone who does things for others, other than for herself and because of that, I like her.
I suppose I am still somewhat reluctant (who wants to face more kids after we’ve had one of our own!?) but very much inspired. I also find the community extremely gratifying. jeanne anne hsi
A few years ago, after we had our first child, my friend L-K shared with me very young children’s needs: Orderliness and repetition. She told me about The Atrium (CGS’ classroom) and Catechisis of the Good Shepherd: A Montessori-styled Catholic catechism for children from 3-12 years. Again I said “No, thank you” even though it sounded the ideal education, ‘cos I thought it was just too much work (well, this part is true! And I cope now by the “Divide and conquer” rule).
After a few years of child rearing, I could not get back to doing the things that I love doing, because of its risks and unsuitability. For self-centred reasons, I joined the noble ranks of teaching catechism to the little ones whom I thought was beneath me and realised how much I learnt from them instead. They respond to their inner joy and showed me how fully present they were whenever they come for classes. I learnt much, especially how the world has progressed (Eg. how do we explain the word “virgin” to a child in this century?)
I now feel very privileged and grateful to be part of this CGS community; many (“mainstreamed”) catechists teach the syllabus on their own, source for materials on their own, get their own spiritual inputs but for the CGS community, we readily have a group of people who work together with the same intent: to provide the children an environment where they may experience and know God on their own.
I am particularly edified by Marilyn (pseudonym), whose children are not in the catechism classes she teaches. She does it, responding to her mission, that spiritual seeds are sown in the very young. Because of her vision and great love, many many children benefit from this one selfless woman’s work. It is mind-boggling perhaps but like what I read in The Little Prince, that at least she’s someone who does things for others, other than for herself and because of that, I like her.
I suppose I am still somewhat reluctant (who wants to face more kids after we’ve had one of our own!?) but very much inspired. I also find the community extremely gratifying. jeanne anne hsi
Thursday, September 30, 2010
the essentials
Hmm, hmm. Breathe in, Breathe out.
the essentials...
Our Breaths.
Money to buy food.
We have food to cook.
Many do not even have food to cook (of
course i do not like the cooking hour, when
kids are cranky, tired and do not help out..
and they go "Mama,mama,mama...".. Oh, shut-up!).
the essentials.
OR would we rather not have kids?
No,no,no... we want them.
But i guess it comes with the crankiness...
the hunger
it is an essential.
it is proof that we are alive.
the essentials.
What are the essentials?
In CGS, i feel...
a lot of things
are NOT the essentials.
It is GOOD TO HAVE the materials.
for the children to experience
what Jesus went thru' in
The Empty Tomb.
How it was like
@The Cenacle.
What a mustard seed looks like
And How Big a Shrub it may Grow Into.
But, if a catechist is not slowed down,
How is she (/he) going to impart
the essentials?
the essentials is necessary
'cos the kids are going to
ask Curious Questions (we may need to
guide them to ask Relevant Questions)
-throw the Catechist off guard
to
the essentials.
To what it means to be grounded
and yet detached.
The "Wonder" Questions.
The Patience.
The Acceptance.
The Wisdom.
We are instruments transforming and taming the young.
Allowing them to be tamed.
To be Loved.
To be Accepted.
In their restlessness, their immaturity.
We are instruments allowing the smart alecks to feel that
not everything works on intellect. One does not lead with
intelligence and strength alone but Leads Well with The Heart
and with The Spirit to serve. Sharing with you what are my
thoughts on the essentials. love, jeanne anne hsi
the essentials...
Our Breaths.
Money to buy food.
We have food to cook.
Many do not even have food to cook (of
course i do not like the cooking hour, when
kids are cranky, tired and do not help out..
and they go "Mama,mama,mama...".. Oh, shut-up!).
the essentials.
OR would we rather not have kids?
No,no,no... we want them.
But i guess it comes with the crankiness...
the hunger
it is an essential.
it is proof that we are alive.
the essentials.
What are the essentials?
In CGS, i feel...
a lot of things
are NOT the essentials.
It is GOOD TO HAVE the materials.
for the children to experience
what Jesus went thru' in
The Empty Tomb.
How it was like
@The Cenacle.
What a mustard seed looks like
And How Big a Shrub it may Grow Into.
But, if a catechist is not slowed down,
How is she (/he) going to impart
the essentials?
the essentials is necessary
'cos the kids are going to
ask Curious Questions (we may need to
guide them to ask Relevant Questions)
-throw the Catechist off guard
to
the essentials.
To what it means to be grounded
and yet detached.
The "Wonder" Questions.
The Patience.
The Acceptance.
The Wisdom.
We are instruments transforming and taming the young.
Allowing them to be tamed.
To be Loved.
To be Accepted.
In their restlessness, their immaturity.
We are instruments allowing the smart alecks to feel that
not everything works on intellect. One does not lead with
intelligence and strength alone but Leads Well with The Heart
and with The Spirit to serve. Sharing with you what are my
thoughts on the essentials. love, jeanne anne hsi
Monday, August 30, 2010
Our Curious Questions
“When she died, people asked, ‘Where did Princess D’s soul went?’ They were divided mostly into two groups: one said she went to heaven and the other, to hell”, said the visiting priest –v.p. (His homily and the man himself perked my interest and I went forward to sit at the front pew, for this was the priest who married HP and i)
The v.p. continued, “I thought to myself, how Jesus might have answered such a question.”
Perhaps Jesus may say to the reporters (who represent the mass media) this, ‘The question you should be asking is, “Where will MY soul go?”’
He continued to point out that the mass media is always interested in these types of questions and that Jesus has no time for curious questions. Instead, we should be asking relevant questions and if the other party is not asking ‘well’, we should direct them to ask relevant questions.
I was so happy to hear this homily, for it gives me an idea of how I may respond to the numerous queries from the little children where I teach catechism. In my enthusiasm, I shared this with my missionary friend, Hot Radish and he was apt in pointing out that he can understand why children asks curious questions but that if adults continue to ask these type of questions, it can be irritating.
While in HK, I met up with my refugee asylum-seeker friend. It has been seven years and United Nations have still to grant them a country to be despatched to. I have always been inspired by this friend who has been through so much, even though she is a decade younger than i. At this meeting, she shared with me three curious questions people pose her, at her expense.
“Jeanne, how will YOU respond if people ask, 'Why haven't you left your husband, who has been unable to provide for you?' ”, my friend asked earnestly (HK's law does not allow asylum seekers to work while waiting to be despatch).
I felt terrible that there are people who fulfil their curiosity needs, by asking such personal questions at the expense of hurting a human being.
Another frequent question she gets is regarding her three children: why or how many children she intends to have? (ie, read-between-the-lines: when she seems to be in this situation of not being able to provide for them). To which she replies in a jest, that she has four more at home or that she intends to have four more. I understand this curiosity as I had posed this question to a single, missionary friend some time back. To which my friend enlighten me with, “To have children is their way of life.” And that was enough to satisfy my curiosity.
Finally, the question “Where are you from?” triggers a negative reaction from my friend. Her body language shows it: she takes two steps back and says, “WHAT DOES IT MATTER where I am from?”, in her English-French accent.
I thought that was a pretty decent question to ask someone whom you’ve met for the first time.
She explained, “Whenever I tell people where I am from, or that I am a refugee they would distant themselves from me… or they would say, ‘Oh-your country is so poor!’ ” I felt so, so sorry. I cannot take away her pains, her sorrows, the insults hurled at her. I only feel privilege she shares them with me. And that I learnt a lesson from her experience.
I recall in my ecumenical prayer meetings with Christians of different denominations, that the mature, peaceful ones would normally not ask which church the other party comes from. Indeed, it is not necessary. It IS a curious question. We cannot stomach what the other person has taken to get there.
If you have the opportunity to meet my friend, you will find that she is a Joyful person, not a cynical one. She must have dealt with peoples’ noisiness and hurtful remarks far too many times.
Did your curious question kill someone today? jeanne anne hsi
The v.p. continued, “I thought to myself, how Jesus might have answered such a question.”
Perhaps Jesus may say to the reporters (who represent the mass media) this, ‘The question you should be asking is, “Where will MY soul go?”’
He continued to point out that the mass media is always interested in these types of questions and that Jesus has no time for curious questions. Instead, we should be asking relevant questions and if the other party is not asking ‘well’, we should direct them to ask relevant questions.
I was so happy to hear this homily, for it gives me an idea of how I may respond to the numerous queries from the little children where I teach catechism. In my enthusiasm, I shared this with my missionary friend, Hot Radish and he was apt in pointing out that he can understand why children asks curious questions but that if adults continue to ask these type of questions, it can be irritating.
While in HK, I met up with my refugee asylum-seeker friend. It has been seven years and United Nations have still to grant them a country to be despatched to. I have always been inspired by this friend who has been through so much, even though she is a decade younger than i. At this meeting, she shared with me three curious questions people pose her, at her expense.
“Jeanne, how will YOU respond if people ask, 'Why haven't you left your husband, who has been unable to provide for you?' ”, my friend asked earnestly (HK's law does not allow asylum seekers to work while waiting to be despatch).
I felt terrible that there are people who fulfil their curiosity needs, by asking such personal questions at the expense of hurting a human being.
Another frequent question she gets is regarding her three children: why or how many children she intends to have? (ie, read-between-the-lines: when she seems to be in this situation of not being able to provide for them). To which she replies in a jest, that she has four more at home or that she intends to have four more. I understand this curiosity as I had posed this question to a single, missionary friend some time back. To which my friend enlighten me with, “To have children is their way of life.” And that was enough to satisfy my curiosity.
Finally, the question “Where are you from?” triggers a negative reaction from my friend. Her body language shows it: she takes two steps back and says, “WHAT DOES IT MATTER where I am from?”, in her English-French accent.
I thought that was a pretty decent question to ask someone whom you’ve met for the first time.
She explained, “Whenever I tell people where I am from, or that I am a refugee they would distant themselves from me… or they would say, ‘Oh-your country is so poor!’ ” I felt so, so sorry. I cannot take away her pains, her sorrows, the insults hurled at her. I only feel privilege she shares them with me. And that I learnt a lesson from her experience.
I recall in my ecumenical prayer meetings with Christians of different denominations, that the mature, peaceful ones would normally not ask which church the other party comes from. Indeed, it is not necessary. It IS a curious question. We cannot stomach what the other person has taken to get there.
If you have the opportunity to meet my friend, you will find that she is a Joyful person, not a cynical one. She must have dealt with peoples’ noisiness and hurtful remarks far too many times.
Did your curious question kill someone today? jeanne anne hsi
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