Dearest Adnil, You asked me what it was about “Think Yourself Happy - The Simple 6-step programme to change your life from within” by Dr Rick Norris that I said helped me break out of my depression (not discounting that I have been depressed for a long time and it helps that I AM determined to break out of it). I didn’t do the book justice by being tongue-tied: for I can’t give witty replies quickly hence I can never be a politician –very often, I have to think it thru’ and thru’ and GET IT when the fire’s over.
One of the most important points I fail to mention is that the book says that different people, by virtue of the traits they inherit, get stressed by different things. For an example, some people get totally stressed with relationship breakups but find other things in life easier to cope. Some daddies get stressed by their kids’ antics but cope well with work. I suddenly understand that I find (some aspects of) parenting the most stressful thing I have to deal with in my forty years of life (or perhaps I have forgotten the past stresses that I have dealt with, haha!).
It doesn’t help that deep down inside me, I feel that a good mother should be able to cook and put her children to bed early, both which I have no talent in. I have lots of ideals about how good mothers should behave –like being patient and gentle with their children ALL THE TIME. Of course I fail 99%. Ya ya, I know I have to let go of my ideals!
Another thing that helped me is recognising that I feel good about completing small projects (hierarchy of needs on self-actualisation). For now, I cannot handle big projects (translate to): I’ll lose my confidence and it’ll become another pile (plus spiral effect of feeling lousy with myself). So, for the catechism classes, I have insisted on sticking to small projects like making prayer cards/ song sheets. Now I feel so much better.
For a while, I was trying to translate songs to Mandarin on my own. I did that poorly, I was banging my head against the wall and not moving. The community has since pointed to me a couple of Chinese choir folks. I also get my MIL’s –Mother-In-Law- help. Perhaps in the process my MIL gets to experience God? (But no, this is not in my agenda. What’s in my agenda is that she leaves a legacy for us. I truly believe that faith is God’s grace.)
I’ve changed your name as I’m sharing this letter with others. ThankYOU for journeying with me this life, as always! Love, jeanne
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment