God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Dearest Adnil, You asked me what it was about “Think Yourself Happy - The Simple 6-step programme to change your life from within” by Dr Rick Norris that I said helped me break out of my depression (not discounting that I have been depressed for a long time and it helps that I AM determined to break out of it). I didn’t do the book justice by being tongue-tied: for I can’t give witty replies quickly hence I can never be a politician –very often, I have to think it thru’ and thru’ and GET IT when the fire’s over.

One of the most important points I fail to mention is that the book says that different people, by virtue of the traits they inherit, get stressed by different things. For an example, some people get totally stressed with relationship breakups but find other things in life easier to cope. Some daddies get stressed by their kids’ antics but cope well with work. I suddenly understand that I find (some aspects of) parenting the most stressful thing I have to deal with in my forty years of life (or perhaps I have forgotten the past stresses that I have dealt with, haha!).

It doesn’t help that deep down inside me, I feel that a good mother should be able to cook and put her children to bed early, both which I have no talent in. I have lots of ideals about how good mothers should behave –like being patient and gentle with their children ALL THE TIME. Of course I fail 99%. Ya ya, I know I have to let go of my ideals!

Another thing that helped me is recognising that I feel good about completing small projects (hierarchy of needs on self-actualisation). For now, I cannot handle big projects (translate to): I’ll lose my confidence and it’ll become another pile (plus spiral effect of feeling lousy with myself). So, for the catechism classes, I have insisted on sticking to small projects like making prayer cards/ song sheets. Now I feel so much better.

For a while, I was trying to translate songs to Mandarin on my own. I did that poorly, I was banging my head against the wall and not moving. The community has since pointed to me a couple of Chinese choir folks. I also get my MIL’s –Mother-In-Law- help. Perhaps in the process my MIL gets to experience God? (But no, this is not in my agenda. What’s in my agenda is that she leaves a legacy for us. I truly believe that faith is God’s grace.)

I’ve changed your name as I’m sharing this letter with others. ThankYOU for journeying with me this life, as always! Love, jeanne

The beauty of Muslim and Buddhism worship

Recently, my three-year-old went with her school on a field trip to a mosque. I learnt that a mosque is kept simple, with space drawn on the carpet for each individual to worship and the “lack of” furniture and things are intentional –so that the worshippers concentrate on saying their prayers and not get distracted with the materials. I think this is a wonderful and beautiful idea.

I remember on one of our inter-religious visit to a Buddhist temple that each visitor had to put on a black robe –this is for uniformity… Again, so that we do not distract each other with our fancy clothes.


I find these two practises enable worshippers to pray reverently. Perhaps it is not a bad idea to impose certain rules in our Christian churches, provided it is done in a loving manner. jeanne anne hsi

A balanced-life? Not in this lifetime!‏

I have not met any person who leads a well-balanced life: that is, in all aspects of life from lifestyle to beliefs. Well, sometimes we try. Often however, we are either too something.

Too religious, too anti-religion.
Too much of an exercise-freak, too “boh-chap” about one’s health.
Too sacrificial, too self-centred.
Spending too much time dolling up, too lacklustre about one’s appearance.
Too workaholic, too “eat-snake” about work.
We overspend, we collect too much junk.
Too independent, not working with people at all.
Too rigid, no backbone.
We worry too much, we don’t care.
Too judgemental, no opinions at all.
Too passionate about a cause or too shui2bian4 (lukewarm) about all things in life.

Is it so hard to be all-rounded in life? Can we say our prayers daily and still have time for social? Or could it be like a food guide pyramid, where the nutritionist says to look at the intake value over a 2-week period instead of over a 24-hour cycle? If that is the case, what would the length of a period be? Or should we categorise the frequency by nature of the activity?

If you disagree and will like to nominate a well-balanced person, please send a description of your nominee to well-balanced-life-person@nominate.com , jeanne anne hsi

Part II

My charming better half’s comment is that I didn’t define what a balanced-life is. But that’s the thing. HP and i agreed - as in every other things in life - that everyone defines it differently. I only wrote the reflection because I felt so overwhelmed, trying to cram everything in a day. How can I sleep 8 hours (ie, recommended) and still do so many things? So I try, I get interrupted short hours of rest and it’s another day. I have not finished doing everything and now it’s TIME TO GET READY TO SLEEP. Good day! Love, jeanne